I’ve used this term, you’ve used this term, this term is overused, I used it last night, and I’ll likely use it again.
But I hate it.
When my husband got home from work last night, I gave him a big kiss and a “thank you” before I headed out the door to meet some old work colleagues for dinner. This was a much needed “girls night out” for me, since my life consists of “girls night in” with my baby boo, 99% of the time. I don’t usually instruct my husband on what to do with Bella when I’m not around, he is a capable, hands-on, loving father (knock on wood).
The first questions from friends who learned I was out of the house sans baby and hubby?
“Is Eliot on daddy duty?”
“How did you manage that?”
“Did you have to bribe him?”
Yes, easily, and no. He IS on daddy duty, I simply asked him if I could get out for a few hours, and no, absolutely no bribery of any kind was necessary for this to happen.
Why do people insist on treating dads like hands-off aliens that only share our living space and have nothing to do with their children after they’ve made them? My husband was eager to be a father before I had even entertained the idea of bearing children, so when I married him, I knew I was getting a great baby daddy.
For the most part, I was raised only by my mama, and my early days before my parents divorce is mostly a blur. My strong, single mama was incredible, but I really had no idea of what a daddy-daughter relationship should look like, or would look like. I dreamed about what it COULD look like, and I dreamed it could be something beautiful, and I am one of the lucky ones I guess.
While there’s plenty we don’t agree on in life, we see eye to eye when it comes to Bella. We both want the same things for her, we both shower her with love and affection (in different ways), we both long for our quality time with her day in and day out, so when it comes to me needing some alone time, it’s only natural that he take over without me having to beg for it.
Now don’t be fooled, there are still times when he’ll ask for guidance when he’s alone with her. I still get those “when do you think you’ll be home?” texts when I’m out. It’s ok…. It’s only natural. Men were not born with a motherly instinct.
Fatherly instincts, however, do exist – and while we’ll never do things exactly the same way, one thing is for sure – we love the hell out of this little girl, and it’s no “duty” for either of us, it’s an absolute pleasure.
I cannot end this piece without giving a huge shout out to the other inspiring dads I’ve come across along the way…
Please check these guys out when you need some “dadspiration”!