She’ll be fine.
As chronicled in probably every other blog post I’ve written in the last month, it has been a huge challenge for me to wrap my head around the fact that my daughter had to start day care, full time, at the tender age of 6 months, so that I could resume my teaching career after an amazing maternity “leave”.
“She’ll be fine,” I’ve heard from so many people – the people I don’t know very closely (and likely the people who cried when their kids started day care also).
Yes – I know she’ll be fine. Thanks, darlings.
Her being “fine” is hardly my concern. She’ll be more than fine, she’s a fricken’ champ, that daughter of mine.
You see, for the people who don’t know me well, they think this is about me being some over-protective, germaphobe mother who is scared to let her daughter come in contact with the outside world.
This is not me. Not at all.
My daughter has been experiencing the outside world since she was born. I have never kept her in a bubble, cocoon, or quarantined from anyone at any point in her life. She’s been experiencing daily life along side her mommy, from the supermarket to the beach and everywhere in between. She’s happy, socializes with the best of ‘em and babbles up a storm to anyone with a smile.
So yes, she’ll be fine.
But it’s me I’ve been worried about this whole time.
I’ve worried about the age-old struggle of working moms everywhere – not enough time with their kids.
I’ve worried about the other age-old struggle of working moms everywhere – how do you balance motherhood AND work life?
I’ve worried about not finding the balance.
Letting my house go to shit.
Letting my friendships go to shit.
Letting myself feel like shit for all of the above (and below).
Forgetting how to turn the oven on and cook for my also hardworking husband because I am too exhausted to form a sentence let alone prepare something edible.
Succumbing to my exhaustion and foregoing date nights. Girls night outs. Trips to the gym.
Being too tired to engage my daughter in our nightly reading routine and turning on Elmo’s World instead.
Going to bed right after my daughter and skipping my nightly TV-in-bed routine with my husband.
All of these things are important to me… They may sound simple to you, but they are what makes me whole and keeps me happy. Keeping a nice home, preparing edible meals, maintaining relationships … but damn if it doesn’t seem like a LOT of work, on top of full-time work!!!!!
Well, all those cheeky know-it-all’s were right about Bella. She was FINE. She is fine. She went in with a smile on her face, was still smiling each time I peeked into her classroom for a visit, and let out the cutest squeal and clap when I came to pick her up at the end of our day.
She’ll be fine.
So, will I be fine? My kind of “fine”?
Before today, I was convinced I couldn’t be… But you know what, I may just end up “fine” as well.