Outgoing and independent to her core, Bella hasn’t been needy for me since the newborn days, and that was only because I was the only one who could supply milk for her.
Now, she’s on the go… Squirming out of my hold to crawl, jump, play, and go after her favorite thing in the whole world, our dog.
Don’t mind me Bella, I’ll just be right behind you in case you crawl into my closet and start tearing clothes off their hangers again.
She lights up at the sight of new friendly faces and can easily be passed around a room smiling and giggling – without even looking back at me.
Don’t mind my child, she just loves new people and likes pulling hair and will love you even more if you let her do so.
When my husband walks through the door at night, she nearly goes flying out of my arms at the sight of him- and these two Besties can’t be separated until bedtime. I hear her laughing for him in a way that she reserves just for his kisses, and my heart aches a little, but hey, daddies and their daughters, right?
Don’t mind me guys… I’ll just be here washing bottles and folding laundry.
So, now what? What’s my job again?
Sometimes I feel like a maid. Sometimes I’m just the cheap entertainment until daddy gets home, and sometimes I’m just the driver in-between Grandma’s house and mommy and me.
But then, this morning, when Bella woke up with a cough that hurt my heart each time she gasped for a breath, I remembered my role in this whole mommy thing.
For the first time in a while, when I held her, she laid still, with her sweet little head buried in my chest. For the first time in a while, she cried when I put her down.
At her doctor visit, when not even my mom could calm her discomfort, she did something I haven’t really ever seen her do…
She reached out her little chubby arms for me, in tears. I held her as tightly as I could, danced with her, cheek to cheek, and sang our favorite song softly until her tears became sniffles, and her sniffles became calmness.
“Ooh baby, baby it’s a wild world… And I’ll always remember you, as a child, girl”
In that moment, for the first time in a while, I remembered the magic of motherhood, the power we hold and the bond that will always keep this precious creation of mine tied tightly to my soul.
I am her mother, and she is my daughter. Like billions before us and billions more to come- there is a power in our bond that can’t be described and no matter how fast she may be growing and changing, sometimes all a girl really needs,
Is her mama.