If you’ve read my “Living Alone on Empath Island,” consider this as somewhat of a continuation…
Pure and clean, crystal-clear in its side-effects, this drug seems to be dealt, over and over, to people who need it the most, but who choose to ignore its powers in search of something else.. What that is, I don’t know – but consider me a dealer of this drug.
I became a dealer at a very young age, when my mom, and the circumstances of my unfortunate childhood taught me that this drug can handle even the most challenging and complicated of issues. I knew that if I continued to dole out this magical medicine, I could change the world and all the bad things that happened to me, or so I thought.
My drug of choice? Kindness.
I have recently found myself in a situation where my drug seems to have stopped working. I have been trying to force an overdose on someone who seems highly annoyed by the side effect, the cheerful, happiness that I dole it out with seems to have backfired. Why do I always find it necessary to continue to share kindness when it’s clearly not welcome?
This has made me question whether I’ve been doing something wrong all along. Could I have been a fool all these years, thinking that my kindness could solve any problem, turn any negative situation into a positive one and keep me feeling great, even in the worst of times?
Well, like with any drug, once you’re deep in the throes of addiction, shit gets complicated.
Things don’t always work as planned.
And then you realize – just because you’re doing what you feel to the be the right thing, the kind thing, doesn’t mean that it will necessarily work. Some people just don’t have their brain receptors turned on to the magical powers of the kindness side effects, and that’s ok.
For a short period of time, I’ve wondered whether I should shut down my drug business and stop assuming it could fix any situation I’ve found myself in… Especially this one I’m in now.
But you know what? No. My drug makes me who I am. My addiction to KINDNESS has led me down some of the most magical paths and into a world I had only dreamed about. My reliance and need for kindness has given me a reputation worth more than all the money in the world: a good friend, a trusted woman on all levels, a loving and generous person.
There is no stopping the work of a kindness dealer, because at the end of the day, when you think your kindness has failed you, you are still the one who can go to bed at night with a full heart, because while your kindness may not have gotten you what you needed, you have only done right, and “right” always prevails.
My sweet child will learn that this is the one drug she is allowed to experiment with, share with others, and if need be – overdose on.
In this crazy, cold, twisted world outside our doorsteps, we should always remember, kindness doesn’t cost a damn thing. It’s the cheapest, yet most valuable drug on the block.