I want my daughter to be smart as hell. Book smart, street smart, you name it. I want her to be sophisticated, hardworking, quick-witted and eager to take on the world.
All with the heart of gold that both her parents are proud to raise her with, of course.
But when it comes to certain truths of this cold, cold world, I’d much prefer if this little, incredible being would remain somewhat ignorant to those truths.
I’d like to keep her in a bubble of sorts, never allowing anything painful to burst through.
I am no dummy, and I know damn well that I am the kind, loving, and loyal person I am because of that fact I was exposed to so much pain as a child. In my case, it made me kinder – because deep down inside of me, I am driven to make sure that no one in my presence will ever feel the kind of pain that I have felt.
It’s like I’m on my own quiet mission to eliminate unnecessary coldness from the world.
And that world, ladies and gentleman, begins and ends with Bella.
If I was the Wonder Woman of motherhood – here’s what I’d use my gold wristbands to help wipe out from the world…
- Mean Girls – No, not the movie. But the fact that our society continues to spin completely out of control into a world where the entertainment industry rules and shallow materialism dominates, I would wipe all the nasty, competitive behavior that mean girls (and women) engage in. I don’t want my daughter to EVER feel bad for what she looks like, doesn’t look like, has or doesn’t have. Not as a child, and certainly not as an adult… Because let me tell you, people – I’m feeling it now as an adult more than ever, and it’s as sad to me now as it was in Kindergarten.
- Debt – If my husband and I can help it, this daughter of mine will be blessed with no student loans, no need to fall behind on payments of any kind, and a career that would leave her far from the world of living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, this is a far cry from the reality of her parents lives at this moment, but again, if I could, I would.
- Heartbreak – Not the kind that happens from her high school sweetheart, her first love or even her second or third. That kind of heartbreak is good for the soul, in my opinion. I’m talking about the kind of heartbreak that isn’t supposed to happen. The heartbreak associated with unexpected loss – loss of a parent (physically or emotionally), loss that comes way before she should lose, for reasons that have nothing to do with her. As a child I experienced losses such as these and this was NOT the pain that helped me to succeed in life. It has left me with scars so deep, that time could never heal – and I’d much prefer it if the only heartbreak my daughter feels is when her high school boyfriend breaks things off to go “find himself” in college or something.
- Fear of being who she REALLY is – As an adult, I look back on all the years I wasted thinking the real me was never good enough, cool enough, pretty enough, smart enough, ANYTHING enough. Then one day (not long ago, sadly), reality set in and I learned that it doesn’t fucking matter. And I am NOT pardoning my French on that one. It doesn’t matter WHO you are in this world Bella. Do you want to spend your high school years NOT trying to fit in? Great. Do you NOT want to pursue a professional white-collar career and backpack through the Himalayas until you discover your inner passion for creating artisan-soaps? Great. Do you want to love someone society makes you feel bad about loving? Great. Whatever it is you want to be, don’t fear it. In the bubble I’d create for you if I could, you would never have to fear the opinion of another – not like I have, at least.
- War – Well obviously, I’m hoping my daughter doesn’t start a war. But aside from that, I sincerely hope that when my daughter reaches the age to learn about the state of Israel, the home of her Jewish people and the land that her mommy and daddy fell in love with so dearly in their own childhood, that she won’t turn on the TV only to find that the state of things in the state of Israel is still completely terrifying. I’m hoping that I won’t even need a bubble to protect her from the pain that each Jewish person feels each time their teeny little country of love is attacked. That it will all be over when I wake up tomorrow, and I can go back to fantasizing about my daughter becoming a Bat Mitzvah at the top of Mount Masada, with nothing to fear but her Haftorah portion.
I know I’m asking for a lot – but if I really were the Wonder Woman of Motherhood, I could make all this possible and more – not just for my daughter, but for ALL of our children.
Our job as parents is to protect, while teaching independence, nurture, while pushing our babies out into the world… Please world, eliminate the coldness and painful things before my daughter is old enough to know better, because this Mama is STILL searching for her shiny gold wristbands.
Thanks in advance.