Damn, It Feels Good to be a Mama

This Starbucks tastes a lot like shut the F up.

No seriously, give me a minute …or 12.

This past Monday marks the first of my new stay-at-home mom life. It was a rough road, these last three months, but it didn’t take long before we came to the best decision for our family.

And damn, it feels good to be a mama.

I went to bed Sunday night with the same excitement and anticipation as a kid on Christmas Eve. With no alarm set for the next morning, no stress bogging me down, no need to check my phone 600x to see if the babysitter confirmed yet- I closed my eyes for a night of restful sleep followed by a morning of…
Nothing.

So naturally, my daughter got the memo. And she must have promptly tore it up, chewed it up and spit it out – because as luck would have it- she woke up at 2am screaming bloody murder. And then she was laughing. And then she was crying again. And this insanity lasted until 4:30am.

Annoyed, sure. Exhausted, absolutely. But freaking out about the lack of sleep? Nah. Not even close.

These are the moments, I thought.
The moments I can now enjoy, in all my overtired splendor, without the stress of having to be my best self day in and day out.
Without having to put a shit-ton of concealer on to leave the house in the morning.

Without having to get out of bed again until she commands me too.

Without wondering, what part of her will I miss the most while I’m gone tomorrow?

All that is behind me now, and I couldn’t be happier.

There is something so incredible about making the choice you WANT to make, standing behind it, and feeling real good about it once it comes to fruition.

Liberating and empowering to say the least.
Now, as I sit here in my beautiful home “office” surrounded by notes, blog post ideas and a calendar full of due dates and deadlines, I can’t help but feel like I’ve finally taken control of the ship- the one I created, the one I’m steering, and the one that makes me the happiest.

So please, Mr. Starbucks man, stop trying to have a conversation with me. I’ve been up half the night – with good reason. No, I’m not interested in Star Wars and no, I’m just not in the mood to chat.

Just give me my triple shot, let me go home with my baby girl, flip open my laptop – and get to work.
MY kind of work. MY way.

Namaste.

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