I am playing for the other team, now. I am on the other side of the fence. I’ve jumped ship. Crossed the border. I’ve purchased a one-way ticket and I’m not returning anytime soon.
I RSVP’ed ‘HELL YES’ to this life.
I successfully crossed over into “stay-at-home-mom” territory, although, I technically NEVER stay at home. I work from home, or from Starbucks, or from my best friend’s couch.
Do you see how I had to throw that in there? That I do, indeed, work? This is a problem. It’s a really big problem, actually, that we as Mothers, feel the need to justify ourselves by proving we do anything more than just wear our “Mom” hats all day.
For every “good for you!” voice of encouragement, there’s a “But why? What do you do all day?” asshole waiting to test your patience, and make you feel the need to validate yourself – and it’s usually someone who you owe nothing to.
But that’s just the way it is.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve succeeding in eliminating the mother-class.
WHY, though? What happened to the beauty in just being a Mom?
We all know that Mom is Superwoman, and Mama knows best.
Home is where your mom is, and, Where there’s a Mom, there’s a way.
We can all admit to needing our moms on our toughest days no matter how old we get, or how much pride we hold on to. Because “Mom” IS the most important role played on this planet.
So why, when I’m out to lunch with a friend and our babies and I’m approached by a random stranger who wants to chat about my baby and how much she doesn’t look like me, do I find myself justifying my role as a mom with “I also work, I’m a writer”.
Or when rude acquaintances probe, “So WHY did you really stop working, aren’t you bored?”.
Bored? Seriously? Aside from the thrill of getting to look at my daughter’s very precious, VERY happy face day in and day out – I am SWAMPED by motherhood. A good kind of swamped. The swamped that comes from learning to balance your daily life with being the best possible mom you can be (and then polishing that day off with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc).
These days, so many of us Mamas are forced back into our working roles before we’re ready. ALL of us, who have had to take that plunge, are forced to fake a grin and exclaim, “I love balancing the best of both worlds,” even when a large majority of us are just barely holding it together. I vomited – multiple times – on my first day back to work, and remember thinking to myself the ENTIRE day, “What will people think if I decide to call this whole thing off and dedicate my time to my child instead?” It seemed like such a crazy notion at the time – and I’m angry at myself for that. I am so saddened by the fact that I had to question my innate calling to motherhood. The natural, human, womanly role that I was born to play.
But this, my friends, is proof of the elimination of the mother-class.
No more 1950’s June Cleavers proud to wear the apron all day. Except me. I am definitely relishing in this shit. Dinner served, laundry done, husband happy, baby thrilled – I am FULFILLED. I do, also, consider myself a feminist – go figure.
My day, even with a mile-long “To-Do” list, revolves around my daughter’s nap schedule. It means, I‘m working from the car if that’s where she falls asleep.
My day, seems more beautiful and meaningful with each giggle I hear or look of amazement I see on my daughter’s face.
My day, doesn’t have enough hours. Or minutes. Or seconds. And no, not because of that now half-marathon-long to-do list. It’s because I am loving being “Mom” so damn much that I could cram so much more of it into one day if I had the chance.
I spent my afternoon today with a group of Mommy-friends who all hold the role of being “just mom”. Some of us in that crew do the work-from-home thing. Some don’t. And it’s all good… because we are ALL thrilled to hold the coveted title of “Mom”. And if there were nothing else to be, we’d be delighted all the same.
Our Mother-Class hasn’t been eliminated. No matter how hard other people try to bring it down.