I’d be lying if I said that I did not become that much more of a feminist after bringing a daughter into this world.
I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t become much more aware of the impact my woman-brain could make on the world after birthing this little powerhouse of a daughter I now call mine.
It’s because of the womanly-powers of my body that I have embraced all things “feminism” and my hopes are that my daughter will one day follow in these high-heeled, successful-lady footsteps that I’ve put forth for her, with her, and because of her.
There ARE a few things I’d teach her though – just to minimize any confusion on what it means to actually be a feminist.
You do not need to toss your bra into a burning bonfire in the middle of the street to be considered a feminist.
You do not need to trash your razor and let your lady parts grow over with hair to be considered a feminist.
You do not need to walk forth into the world screaming, “F*ck the man,” to prove a point – or be considered a feminist.
Hilariously, these are some of the misconceptions about feminism that still hold true today. That us feminists are man-hating, no-bra wearing, angry little bitches who want to be taken really, really seriously.
Ok, that’s not ALL a misconception – because we DO want to be taken seriously. Who doesn’t?
But if you’re anything like me, you’re probably of the belief that feminism is more about your actions than what you look like, what you wear, or whether or not you shave your legs. Feminism is being able to be successful in whateverthehell you’d like to do with your life, because after all, it’s YOUR life and you don’t need anyone to determine where you find your success or happiness. Feminism is so many things to so many different people – and here are the top 3 things my daughter DOES need to know about being a feminist. A good, respectful, and respectable one at that.
- Feminism is believing in the power of your abilities and putting them into action.
Have an idea, a plan, a goal, or a cause you’re fighting for? Hell yes, I support that, and you should too. There is no reason you cannot follow through with any of these things simply because you’re of the female gender. Mama knew, from the moment you made your loud and proud debut into this world, that you’d be capable of great things. Go for it, my girl. Be a feminist in the sense that you are confident in your capabilities, you have a cause worth fighting for, and NOTHING will stand in your way.
- Feminism is learning to stand up for yourself and to say no without apology.
One other major misconception about feminism (and womanhood in general)? That standing up for yourself makes you a bitch. That using the word, “no” should always be followed by an apology and long-winded explanation.
No, no, no, my dear – the opposite is true. To be taken seriously, to have your opinions and ideas hold weight, and to gain any respect at all, you MUST hold strong to all of the above. You can still be a “lady” without giving in to the expectations of others. You can still be so much of a woman without needing to please others simply for their approval. Stand up for yourself. Say no when you need to. It will all fall in line, under your terms and conditions, after you’ve learned to set guidelines and lay boundaries.
Feminism is knowing that kindness always wins.
As I mentioned above, bitchiness and feminism do NOT need to go hand in hand. It is my belief that anything can be done with just the right amount of kindness – as this is exactly how your mother has chosen to live her life and achieve her dreams as well. Use your womanly intuition and tap into just how much kindness will get the job done in any situation, and you’re halfway there. Be kind to those you love, be kind to those you don’t, be kind to those who can help you on your path, and kind to those who cannot. Kindness always wins, my dear. You’ll lay your head down each night with pride if you follow this rule, and goddammit, you’ll make mama really, really proud.