What I Will Teach My Daughter About Feminsm

I’d be lying if I said that I did not become that much more of a feminist after bringing a daughter into this world.

I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t become much more aware of the impact my woman-brain could make on the world after birthing this little powerhouse of a daughter I now call mine.

It’s because of the womanly-powers of my body that I have embraced all things “feminism” and my hopes are that my daughter will one day follow in these high-heeled, successful-lady footsteps that I’ve put forth for her, with her, and because of her.

There ARE a few things I’d teach her though – just to minimize any confusion on what it means to actually be a feminist.

You do not need to toss your bra into a burning bonfire in the middle of the street to be considered a feminist.

You do not need to trash your razor and let your lady parts grow over with hair to be considered a feminist.

You do not need to walk forth into the world screaming, “F*ck the man,” to prove a point – or be considered a feminist.

Hilariously, these are some of the misconceptions about feminism that still hold true today. That us feminists are man-hating, no-bra wearing, angry little bitches who want to be taken really, really seriously.

Ok, that’s not ALL a misconception – because we DO want to be taken seriously. Who doesn’t?

But if you’re anything like me, you’re probably of the belief that feminism is more about your actions than what you look like, what you wear, or whether or not you shave your legs. Feminism is being able to be successful in whateverthehell you’d like to do with your life, because after all, it’s YOUR life and you don’t need anyone to determine where you find your success or happiness. Feminism is so many things to so many different people – and here are the top 3 things my daughter DOES need to know about being a feminist. A good, respectful, and respectable one at that.

  1. Feminism is believing in the power of your abilities and putting them into action.

Have an idea, a plan, a goal, or a cause you’re fighting for? Hell yes, I support that, and you should too. There is no reason you cannot follow through with any of these things simply because you’re of the female gender. Mama knew, from the moment you made your loud and proud debut into this world, that you’d be capable of great things. Go for it, my girl. Be a feminist in the sense that you are confident in your capabilities, you have a cause worth fighting for, and NOTHING will stand in your way.

  1. Feminism is learning to stand up for yourself and to say no without apology.

One other major misconception about feminism (and womanhood in general)? That standing up for yourself makes you a bitch. That using the word, “no” should always be followed by an apology and long-winded explanation.

No, no, no, my dear – the opposite is true. To be taken seriously, to have your opinions and ideas hold weight, and to gain any respect at all, you MUST hold strong to all of the above. You can still be a “lady” without giving in to the expectations of others. You can still be so much of a woman without needing to please others simply for their approval. Stand up for yourself. Say no when you need to. It will all fall in line, under your terms and conditions, after you’ve learned to set guidelines and lay boundaries.

  1. Feminism is knowing that kindness always wins.

As I mentioned above, bitchiness and feminism do NOT need to go hand in hand. It is my belief that anything can be done with just the right amount of kindness – as this is exactly how your mother has chosen to live her life and achieve her dreams as well. Use your womanly intuition and tap into just how much kindness will get the job done in any situation, and you’re halfway there. Be kind to those you love, be kind to those you don’t, be kind to those who can help you on your path, and kind to those who cannot. Kindness always wins, my dear. You’ll lay your head down each night with pride if you follow this rule, and goddammit, you’ll make mama really, really proud.

 

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The Sleepless Mama Thought Process 

Nothing messes up a delicious deep sleep like a screaming baby. Nothing.
When my little angel, who normally sleeps like a rock for 11 hours straight, woke up at 2:30am two mornings ago and proceeded to want to hang out until around 4:30am, all sorts of weird things started happening in my head.
Here are the top 5 things I am convinced that all moms think of when their babies are up during ungodly hours of the night..
1. Who else is dealing with this right now? Is there a support group of sleepless wretched women I can reach out to?
I realized how lucky I was to not deal with this on a daily, or nightly, basis. I probably wouldn’t survive, so I have a newfound respect for all you moms who do deal with it. Like – serious respect… Like, I think you could run the world and solve all of its problems type of respect.
2. Wow I never realized how good I was at math until 3am today.
From the moment I was awoken until the two hours later when I finally tiptoed out of her room like a ninja in some Matrix movie- my math skills were ON POINT. With each passing second I analyzed the time, how much sleep I could get if she would just let me put her down rightfuckingnow, and how to minimize any energy exertion for the following day. The answer to my math equation?
E=MCtiredmama
3. Speaking of Ninja’s, I could have been one.
You don’t realize the weight of your own body or the creakiness of your floorboards until you are trying to escape a sleeping baby’s room. I am laughing now, thinking of what it must have looked like as I tried to make my smooth getaway. I squatted as low as possible, while still managing to sumo-walk out of her room on my tippy toes all while holding my breath.
And now my glutes, quads and hamstrings are on fire.
4. I want to buy a police siren to blast in my husbands ear. Where do they sell these?
When the screams of your child jolt you out of bed at 2:30am and you look over at your husband and realize he couldn’t look more peaceful, terrible things go through your mind. At least they do for me. Do I hit him? Do I push him gently off the bed? Do I shove the monitor into his ear canal? Or should I just scream into a microphone next to his side of the bed at the top of my lungs.
(Love you, babe)
5. I wouldn’t trade this moment for the world.
When the moment stills and her body weight sinks into mine and her little baby breaths feel warm against my collarbone and send chills up my spine I am convinced…
There is not a mama in the world who would trade these moments for any amount of sleep in the world.