How My Gut Instincts Led to a MUCH Better Life

As Seen In The Huffington Post

They say change is good. Try something new. Follow your gut.

 

But what happens when all of the above seems as scary and unnecessary as well, staying in the same place?

 

The truth is, for all of 28 years, the only place I ever followed my gut was to decide on dinner plans. Raised with an innate sense of “You can’t do that,” I always thought the big bad world outside of my comfortable little Long Island cocoon was there for others to conquer and take over, while I sat back and dreamed. Staying in the same place felt like the only option.

 

As a complicated woman, with a serious past and some even more serious self-confidence issues, I had convinced myself that the “happy endings” were for everyone else. All of the pressure to settle down, get married, and start a family became white noise in a brain that was certain I was not worthy of such a typical outcome. I knew my faults and my quirks and hated myself for them — and began getting comfortable with the notion that I’d be on the sidelines forever, as everyone else continued scoring life-changing touchdowns….

 

READ MORE HERE: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-dempsey/how-my-gut-instincts-gave_b_9643312.htmlFullSizeRender(21)

Kids, Caffeine & Keeping It Real: From a Dad’s Perspective

I’ll be honest-  I get really wrapped in the female perspective of parenting. Accept this guest post as a gift of goodness and a double dose of daddy’ing done right. From my good friend, talented writer and designer, Ruben Cabrera of The Morning Coffee Project.

  
Breaking the Cycle 

Coming to you live, from my porch swing, hoping I finish this before I hear the Hot Dog Dance, then Mickey and ALL the homies start assaulting us with their wild dance moves! HOT DOG!

Parent or not, I know damn well that you know the Hot Dog Dance… and if for some reason you are blessed enough not to,  I pray you never do. (*prayer hands & crying face emoji*)

I think all folks who have children or who plan to can all agree on one thing: parenthood is slightly terrifying. For me, it was scary at first, and I suppose it still is, for all of the obvious reasons; everything from butt rashes to screwing them up emotionally for the rest of their lives. That second one is even scary to read (don’t re-read that sentence, I had mild anxiety typing it.)

But as a father, I suppose my next biggest fear is NOT being able to break “The Cycle.” Dads, you know what I’m talking about. Ladies, if you still don’t get it after you read this, take your sugar on a sunny afternoon date somewhere and pick his brain about it. Then hug him.

BREAKING THE CYCLE:

Some of us barely knew our fathers growing up, some of us NEVER had any. A lot of us spend almost the first 30 years of our lives being angry at those men. ​

Some guys had great dads, I’m sure of it. And for a long while there have been generations of boys (and girls) raised by men (or women) who’ve left scars (physical, mental, or emotional) on them.

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My apologies if that took a dark turn; I promise this isn’t to marsh your mallows, but the point I’m making is, I feel like WE, as parents, are learning from the “children are to be seen and not heard” generation. I look around at my peers and I see a generation of young parents, some tattooed AF with super eclectic styles & some with super conservative and traditional values, CELEBRATING their children, loving them unconditionally (that means NO MATTER WHAAAAAATTT) and it is AWESOME!

 

I wish I could tell you that by the time your kids are adults, society is going to figure it’s shit out, but we all know that’s not the case. If you can read I’m sure you’ve read a quote that says something like:

 

“BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD”

Super cliché huh? No doubt, but I look at it like this, I can’t change the world over night, I can’t stop other people who spread hate, negativity, and bigotry, and I can’t stop those same people from having kids.

The ONLY thing I can do is raise decent human beings – all three of them. I can teach my son compassion and understanding before all the machismo. I’ll try my hardest to make sure that my daughters know the immense and awe-inspiring POWER that Women hold.

I wish my children could know how much I love them. Any time we spend apart, I spend hating that I wasn’t more patient with them or wishing I would’ve smiled more around them before I had to leave again.

I find myself wondering if my mom felt that way too, or even if she STILL feels like that. My mind wanders even further into the way that she has always been. The good, the bad, the love, the moments of misunderstanding, the things that may have hurt me. Maybe she, like me, is the byproduct of society.

 

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Maybe you can’t blame anyone else, but I know she‘s a living breathing human and the same way I have faults, I’m sure she’s had hers a lot longer. Whatever demons I may have faced I’m sure she’s known hers own all my life. Who’s to say I’m not a reminder of one of those old friends?

I mean she taught me great lessons in parenting, whether it be how to or how not to parent. So if whatever I’ve felt was needed to be felt for my children to have a better father (I hope) and future, then so be it.

 Sometimes we go through things so others won’t have to. What can I do better so my children’s children will live happily into their adulthood?

Maybe she just got lost on her way. Maybe it’s too late to get her back but, HOT DIGGITY DOG, it’s my fuel to “break the cycle.”

To my sourpatch Kids, my Coconuts, my sugar cubes:

A kiss for Jupiter, one for Mars. One for the Moon and a bunch for the Stars.

 

-Daddy

Peace, Love, Morning Coffee

www.themorningcoffeeproject.com

-Rube

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4 Things EVERY Father Should be Doing for his Daughter

The Father/Daughter relationship can make or break a young girls’ confidence and self-esteem, and inevitably set the stage for all of her future relationships with men.

It’s time to take this relationship very, very seriously.

In Creative Child Magazine, I list the 4 Things EVERY Father Should Be Doing for his Daughter.

http://www.creativechild.com/articles/view/4-things-every-father-should-be-doing-for-his-daughter

Elite Daily Swiped RIGHT on The Trusted Mama!

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Photocreds… http://www.michellesarkissian.com

CHECK OUT OUR LATEST WORK ON ELITE DAILY HERE!!!

 

How Having A Baby Completely Ruined My Idea Of Marriage

Where Does Happiness Come From?

“You look SO happy now!”

Really? So what did I look before? Don’t answer that.

I’ve become desensitized to this, “you look so happy,” observation because frankly- I’ve heard it enough times for the word “happy” to sound like white noise at this point. Just another word in my overly verbose life.

But when I really think about it, like, stand-in-the-shower-lost-in-thought think about it, I totally get why this comment is consistently being thrown in my direction.
For me, life was not always as, “figured out*” as it is today. For so long, I was aboard the hot-mess-express to nowhere, always lost in my overly-analytical and anxious brain.

I was painfully indecisive, unsure, and unable to advocate for myself or my opinions. I didn’t know what I wanted, where I was going, or even worse, what even made me happy.

I was, essentially, the quintessential “little girl lost”.

Okay, well, I worked past all that, landed myself a damn good man, an incredible daughter, a home to call my own, and a life that just “works”.

Maybe it’s the shock from people who knew me from “before” feel when they bump into the new and improved version of myself that I’ve unknowingly created. Or maybe, just maybe, this “happiness” I now radiate so strongly is more just the appreciation of learning what life really is all about.

Yes, it’s definitely that.

Acquiring this husband/child/life of mine was NOT the elimination of all things “unhappy”. I didn’t pop out a baby and push out all my anxiety with her. Quite honestly, the stress of this new life is more overwhelming than ever. More bills, more responsibility, more to argue about, blah blah blah.

But that’s because there’s so much realness in my life now. So much at stake. So much to be thankful for. And that’s where you learn that you’ve got so much more than you ever dreamed possible – and you better just SHUT UP and be happy.

It’s the realization that I am somebody’s everything now. There is a little one-year-old life depending on me for literally everything, and my heart is so full at the the thought of that. It’s FINALLY coming to the realization that tomorrow is not promised, and it could all be gone in an instant – and that would really, really suck. It’s having two lives living under this roof with me that make life worth living for. That make putting myself through the stress of everyday life worth every ounce of hard work and sacrifice. It’s finally learning, after 32 years, what makes ME happy, and that I have to make each moment count, forget the bullshit, focus on what really matters and keep things totally in perspective.

And that, my friends, is where happiness comes from.

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