Working from Home with Child: Smart or Just Plain Insane?

People are always asking me how I manage to consistently work as much as I do with a toddler in the house. It makes me feel great that I have somehow made this near-impossible feat look easy, but I can assure you that it’s anything but.

I’d liken it to nailing jello to the wall.

I made the choice to work from home when my daughter was a few months shy of her first birthday. I didn’t have the help of a full-time nanny, and my day to day life became, well, a circus. The juggling act between meeting client deadlines, developing creative content, answering a daily onslaught of emails, taking care of my home, and most importantly, taking care of my family has been a learning process like no other.
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As with anything, this routine took a little time to ease in to. There are days that go off without a hitch, and days where I’d like to hide in my closet with my laptop and a giant vat of espresso. There are days I feel more capable than superwoman, and then days where I repeatedly ask myself if I’m crazy to have launched my own writing business with a now super-active toddler running circles around me all day, every day.
I hate to sound cliche, but the truth is, if I can do it, so can the rest of you amazing women of the world. Here are a few tips for working from home while parenting.

Ellen Degeneres, I Owe You One

As Seen in The Huffington Post:

“Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth, and everything else will come”Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 9.19.18 PM.png

 

This has taken me over four years to write. But for four years, this Ellen Degeneres quote, from a 2010 Katie Couric Interview in Glamour Magazine, has meant so much to my life and where I am in it today.

 

So, let’s go back to four years ago. January 6th, 2012, to be exact: Following many years of a very unstable life filled with pain, tragedy, and a terrible lack of self-confidence, I came very close to losing it all. That cold, New York morning, I was involved in a head-on collision that left me broken from the neck down physically, and broken all the way through, mentally.

 

I was 28 years old at the time. I had tried and tried, but life had not yet “happened” for me at that point. Having recently lost my teaching career, a mentally-abusive relationship, and a whole lot of money in that process – I thought that this accident was the worst thing that could have happened to me – the proverbial icing on a very rotten cake. I realized quickly though, that it was a blessing in disguise, the cliché, “second chance at life,” and the healing process, though grueling and painful, became the best 5 months of my life. Hell, all I had to do was lay in bed.

 

With all of this laying in bed, came a lot of looking forward to 4pm every afternoon. Literally, my existence revolved around watching the Ellen show and letting her positivity and humor lift my day. I wouldn’t take any visitors at this time, I’d set aside my kindle, my laptop, and shut down my phone – all in anticipation of the show. My beautiful mother, who had flown up from her new snowbird life in Miami just to take care of me (I was unable to walk or care for myself due to multiple casts and surgeries), would snuggle into bed with me and we’d laugh (and sometimes cry) for a full hour while Ellen filled our hearts with joy and light. This was the year that Sophia Grace and her little sidekick were a hit, and her dedication to loving children and showcasing their talents struck such a chord with my teacher-heart. I honestly mean it when I say that my life revolved around 4pm. I will never forget that and all that it did for my psyche – so for that alone, I was grateful.

But then, a February 2010 Issue of Glamour in which Ellen was interviewed by Katie Couric, somehow ended up in my lap. In that interview, she gave an answer in regard to being a role model and staying true to herself, that was the basis for how I decided to live my “second chance at life”. This quote, “Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth, and everything else will come,”became my mantra – my daily affirmation – and the reason for my now-happiness, newly-found self-confidence, and career success. And I began a whole new life that I can honestly say is the one I was destined to always live – making me so grateful for the power of positive role models in our entertainment industry – one’s who have overcome major obstacles to find acceptance, love, and success in this world.

 

How did this happen? Well, I manifested it with my newfound dedication to finding out who I am and living that truth. I knew who I was: I was someone who was deeply scarred by the pain of her childhood, desperate to find a calm, comfortable, life and use my story to inspire others. I knew I was someone who was strong enough to overcome my fears and self-doubt, take a deep look into myself and begin auditing and cleaning house. I knew I was someone with so much to say, and a passion for women’s rights, female empowerment, and equality for all. Following recovery – I made a conscious effort to live a more mindful life. I knew that in order to do that, I had to release all that had held me down and kept me stagnant in my little Long Island town for so long, and boarded a flight to Miami, Florida, one-way ticket in hand, with no desire to look back.

 

I won’t go in to all of the details that transpired once my plane touched down in sunny South Florida – but I’ll fill you in on where I am today: very happily living my life. I am married to a man who has become my partner-in-crime in this game called life. We have a beautiful little 15-month-old girl who is my muse and motivation for all that I do – and my reason for upholding a commitment to this quote: living my truth. Being who I am – and letting it nourish my soul.

 

Somehow, entering motherhood helped me tap in to my innermost female superpowers. I felt empowered, strong, beautiful – and I felt the need to write about it. In writing about it, the universe responded to my energy, honesty, and passion. I finally found out who I was – someone that can use her nurturing and committed personality in a way to connect with others and help them on their quest for happiness and success as a writer.

 

To this I say – when you find someone who makes you feel empowered, honor the fact that your intuition is telling you to act on that empowerment. And when something as simple as a quote resonates deeply enough with your soul to make you feel urge to change – thank your lucky stars.

Trending in Scary Mommy Now

Our country has a serious problem. A baby died in day care again, and nothing is being done about it. Our maternity leave policies endanger mothers and babies.

Read more here.Screen Shot 2016-04-15 at 12.06.11 PM

How My Gut Instincts Led to a MUCH Better Life

As Seen In The Huffington Post

They say change is good. Try something new. Follow your gut.

 

But what happens when all of the above seems as scary and unnecessary as well, staying in the same place?

 

The truth is, for all of 28 years, the only place I ever followed my gut was to decide on dinner plans. Raised with an innate sense of “You can’t do that,” I always thought the big bad world outside of my comfortable little Long Island cocoon was there for others to conquer and take over, while I sat back and dreamed. Staying in the same place felt like the only option.

 

As a complicated woman, with a serious past and some even more serious self-confidence issues, I had convinced myself that the “happy endings” were for everyone else. All of the pressure to settle down, get married, and start a family became white noise in a brain that was certain I was not worthy of such a typical outcome. I knew my faults and my quirks and hated myself for them — and began getting comfortable with the notion that I’d be on the sidelines forever, as everyone else continued scoring life-changing touchdowns….

 

READ MORE HERE: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-dempsey/how-my-gut-instincts-gave_b_9643312.htmlFullSizeRender(21)

Guest Post! A Brief Tale of Disaster: Mom-Style

For all the money in the world, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried…

The morning that I have just barely survived needs to be turned into a movie called:

“I am not in my right mind, and this is why” or “Wine is for Mommies” or  EVEN

“A fist full of crap”…

Basically, my morning with my two children was a literal SHIT show.

First I MUST tell you that I have a cold, of course I do, why wouldn’t I? My cell phone and iPad are a petri dish of bacteria thanks to these kids (I swear I must have the cure for at least one disease sitting on my screen) but I digress.

Ever hear the expression: don’t count your chickens before they hatch? Yep – never did I know this to be more true than it was this morning.

I started my morning unusually optimistic and punctual today. My 2-year-old son and my 5-year-old daughter and I are actually making good time this morning. We are all set for school, on our way out the door and I’m even carrying everything we need without breaking a sweat. We head downstairs to the parking lot, the birds are singing, the sun is shining, life is good and as I proceed to strap my son into his car seat I catch a whiff of something so pungent that actually penetrates my air tight, 100% no getting through, severely congested nostrils.

This was bad.

I proceed to do the  CIA-status “diaper peep” which is usually highly insulting to my 2-year-old when he is “clean” but this time, when my index finger barely brushed the top of his diaper, I found that was already knuckle deep in what can only be described as the most heinous explosion of shit ever.
At this point I have shit on my hand but my hopes and dreams have not yet been shitted on. I still believe that we can make it to school on time, because I am a MOM goddammit and I have pushed through worse! I decided to lay my kid inside the trunk to change his diaper and keep it moving. (Come on, you know you’ve done it too). My daughter is completely oblivious to what is going on, she has no idea that this morning is slowly deteriorating in the worst way – because as long as she has the iPad the world can legit crumble around her but make no mistake, she will know how to do an Elsa braid and Monster High makeup like nobody’s business.
So back to the trunk, I proceed to assess the “shituation”, he has shit all the way up to his uniform shirt, his shorts are completely compromised, and as I try to clean him up to the best of my ability,  I realize I am now running out of wipes and he has smeared shit all over my trunk. I use my last wipe, and bare hand to get him mostly clean but at this point I have no choice but to confess to my daughter that I am taking him upstairs to change and wash up. Don’t worry, she barely flinched.

I turn around to get my son and he is riding his scooter naked in the parking lot of my condo, swear to god. You see, in order to lay him in the trunk I had to take his scooter out to make room, so when I pulled him out of the trunk he was face to face with his scooter and because why not?

HE RODE NAKED THROUGH THE PARKING LOT OF MY SOUTH FLORIDA CONDO.
So I grabbed him by the shirt, almost flung him up the stairs to our second floor condo with very little tact or grace. I placed him on the hallway floor to fish  my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door on to turn around and find that he is peeing in my building hallway. PEEING! 😩 WTF!!  Seriously?

Oh my god. Okay, lets get this over with Adrian. Let’s get you cleaned up, dressed all over again and back in the car so that we can MAYBE get to school on time. I wash him from head to toe, put a new uniform shirt on, shorts, socks and we are out the door, yes! Finally! We are late but not embarrassingly late…except I just locked myself out of the apartment.

MIC DROP.

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AS TOLD, VERBATIM, BY CONTRIBUTING WRITER PATRICIA PACHECO VILLAZON. Patricia is a full-time mama and lives a much less shitty life than described. She calls Miami her home and Colombia her roots. She’s got a passion for all things “creative”.

Check her out on Instagram @pattyp444

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